Lord, forgive me for being harsh on my wife. Forgive me for failing to understand my wife.

The more I live with my wife, the more I realize that she is broken. She came into our marriage broken. I expected my marriage to be perfect instead of realizing that healing takes time.

I see her brokenness sometimes in her eyes, her voice, her behaviour, her reaction to things.

Like when I tell her she is beautiful but she sometimes doesn’t believe it because she is still battling with the nasty things her exes who came before me told her, they messed up her self esteem by making fun of her body and making her feel less beautiful. Let me keep telling her and showing her she is beautiful until she daily believes it and she is confident of her nakedness.

Like when I sense bitterness and anger in her words sometimes because for years before I came into her life, she was wrongfully attacked, betrayed and forced to be defensive. Let me calm her down so that she feels no reason to fight.

Like when she is quick to doubt me or think I might leave her or cheat on her sometimes because the men she dated before me cheated on her, lied to her and abandoned her despite her being good to them. Let me be open and transparent with her to the point that I make her secure.

Like when finances become a delicate topic because in her past she has been burnt financially, many have used her and taken advantage of her. Let me assure her that this time round our finances are sound, that money shouldn’t stress her, that You will keep blessing our pockets.

Like when sometimes I see her not so enthusiastic about sex because in the past sex brought pain and a feeling of shame. Let me reassure her of the purity of our intimacy. Bring back the innocence of love making.

Like when I see her get emotional sometimes when she sees children because it reminds her of the child that she lost some years back. Let me hug her, console her, comfort her and help her feel understood.

Like when she gets moody and withdraws in silence because in the past she was short changed by friends and people she trusted, so she’s learnt to be alone. Let me be consistent in my love so that she feels safe to help her learn that she doesn’t need to do life alone. I am her husband.

Lord, my wife needs healing, we all do. She came into marriage having walked a journey before me and so did I. All the good and bad experiences of the past, people bring into marriage and sometimes many married people are too impatient with the process of healing and the process of unlearning the not so pleasant things learnt in the past.

Help my wife to be patient with me as I am patient with her. Love is about learning, love is a process. Bring something strong and beautiful out of our love and understanding. Let our love for each other fix each other.