1. THE MENTAL COMPONENT

Sex begins in the mind. No matter how sexy someone is, if you have a negative opinion about them, they will not arouse you. That is why people who have formed a negative opinion about their spouse such as “My wife is a nag or my husband is so boring” and they have a favourable opinion about an outsider, they will find that outsider more sexually attractive and have an affair.

Pornography also affects your mind. Pornography confuses your mind by having multiple people stimulating you. Clean your mind to enjoy love making with your spouse

2. THE EMOTIONAL COMPONENT

People need to feel emotionally taken care of by the one they are giving their body to. If you want great love making in your marriage, take care of your spouse’s emotions. A hurt spouse is not excited about sex

3. THE PHYSICAL COMPONENT

This is the touching of skin, the kissing, the holding, how skin meets skin. Different bodies have different pleasure spots. Explore your spouse’s body… up your touching, rubbing and kissing game

4. THE VISUAL COMPOMENT

This is why you need to dress for sex. Look good for your spouse. Have body poses that excite your spouse visually

5. THE AUDIO COMPONENT

These are the words you speak and how you speak. How you say “I love you”, “I want you”… How you lead your spouse on. How you moan

6. THE FRAGRANCE COMPONENT

This is in your scent. Do you smell fresh? Some people are turned on by body scents. But no one gets turned on by bad odour and so maintain oral hygiene to enjoy kissing, shower or take a bath regularly, change your underwear daily. Don’t stink of sweat

7. THE MUTUAL COMPONENT

This is when both of you want it and both of you enjoy it. None of you is selfish or sexually frustrated. Both of you consent. This is why raping is WRONG!

8. THE SPIRITUAL COMPONENT

Are your spirits agreeing? Are you unequally yoked? Are you in two opposing spiritual journies? Remember inside your bodies, you two are spirits. If your spirits don’t agree, you two might have sexual pleasure but in the end it leads to emptiness cause it doesn’t go deep

9. THE PURPOSE COMPONENT

This is the why. Why are we having sex?  Are we even a couple? Why are you seeing me naked? Who am I to you? This provides context to the act. If the reason is not love in a commitment of marital dimensions, it leads to confusion, a feeling of being used and it all becomes shallow

10. THE EXCLUSIVE COMPONENT

This is the aspect of faithfulness. The assurance that the act is special, that you are not doing it with another. Faithfulness is such a turn on

11. THE RYTHMN COMPONENT

This is the pace of the act. Do you take it slow and make it last? Do you go hard and fast as a quickie?  Do you start slow, pick up the pace them slow down when about to orgasm? Both the husband and wife should connect in such a way that they can pick each other’s rythmn

12. THE CLIMAXING COMPONENT

Unfortunately, this is the part where many only focus on: The orgasm. When your focus is only this, you will misuse sex, have affairs, cheat, be selfish, be a pervert and have sex buddies

13. THE RESPONSIBILITY COMPONENT

This is when you are responsible for what comes with the sex, especially if pregnancy occurs. You don’t abandon the woman when she gets pregnant for you.  You don’t just enjoy pleasure, you proudly take responsibility for the consequences. Irresponsible men are great in bed but cowards when pregnancy comes. Irresponsible women blindly have sex then get shocked or disappointed when pregnancy comes then opt for abortion

14. THE SECURITY COMPONENT

This is when you affirm each other especially after the orgasm: That your love is intact, your marriage is solid

15. THE FUTURE COMPONEMT

This is when you allay each other’s fears and assure each other that you are not going anywhere, that the great sex you had today, is yours tomorrow and forever more. A one night stand cannot give you this

16. THE GOD COMPONENT

This is when you are sure that God is pleased by your sexual act, that as husband and wife, you have made love to God’s glory. Sexual sin makes you feel guilty and pushes you away from God

If you want to enjoy love making, have these components; it’s more than an orgasm.

DE EDIFIER