1. To mutually want the marriage to work

2. To have the same joint vision of the kind of marriage you seek to have

3. To be united as a couple

4. To have your spouse as your number one priority

5. To forsake all others

6. To be there for each other in good and bad times

7. To be accountable to each other because whatever affects you affects your spouse

8. To involve each other in making decisions

BEING ONE DOESN’T MEAN…

1. Agreeing in everything, you will have differences of opinion and preferences

2. Silencing your voice to please your spouse. Your voice matters

3. Having the same personal dreams. You can support each other’s individual dreams because you two are different individuals

4. Having the same way of relating with the children. You can agree on the values you want to nurture in the children but be unique in your bonding with the children

5. You must have the same friends. Each of you can have their friends as long as you know each other’s friends but give each other space to socialize

6. Being identical. Marriage is about unity, not uniformity

7. You will both be horny at the same time every time. Sometimes you will have to warm your spouse to make love; and even if he/she doesn’t get into the mood, you have tomorrow

8. You always understand each other. Sometimes you will need to explain yourself for your spouse to get to your thinking